Debbie Ford Unconceals the Shadow

Debbie Ford is the bestselling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and Why Good People Do Bad Things. Being an expert on the human shadow, she has guided thousands of people across the globe through her shadow work. Now she highlights the danger as well as the opportunities and gifts of the shadow in her groundbreaking and gripping movie, The Shadow Effect. Debbie has written six books in total, with the 7th one launching next month. She has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live, Good Morning America and major TV shows around the world. Her pioneering force in the field of spiritual transformation has set new standards and has shown people that they can be free of who they are not trying to be. According to Debbie Ford everybody has 40 to 50 shadows that we juggle and that we hide from ourselves and other people. In this interview she speaks to Vivienne Tang about how everyone can discover and come to love their shadows.

You’ve been doing shadow work and coaching for 15 years, and you are a successful author. Why did you decide to do a movie?

I realized that it is so hard for people to really understand these concepts and feel safe to do deep work. I had to take it to the next level so people could see it and feel it. When we see things visually it goes into our hearts in ways that sometimes words can’t. It was my intention to bring in Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson who are both very close friends of mine to speak about the shadow. The shadow is showing up in all our lives, our countries, the economy, the struggles and the ongoing repetitive problems that we are having in the world. It seemed like the time was right, and I took the leap.

What is the process of the shadow work?

In my work there is a three-part process. The first process is really unravelling and unconcealing the shadow, because the shadow is everything that we disown about ourselves. It’s so difficult for one to find their true shadow, because everything happens inside our ego structure. And the ego has this amazing part that can project these unwanted qualities on to others. We don’t even know that’s our shadow, but we see somebody that we don’t like or we see something happen in the world, and we like to point our fingers and blame, instead of doing the work of owning it ourselves. And that is part of the process to see ‘where am I like that?’ or ‘how could I be like that?’. We own it and we embrace it. We’re not trying to get rid of it or try to pretend that we’re not that. We look and explore what the gift of that part is. That’s how the shadow heals. When we put light on that darkness, and we bring it into our awareness and then find the gift. ‘How could I use this part of myself? Why is this part of me screaming to get attention, and what would it take for me to open my heart and to have compassion for this part of me?’

Why did you develop the shadow work? How did you get into it?

I suffered from different kinds of addictions for many years. I was a very insecure person. There were so many aspects of myself that I didn’t like and I felt ashamed of, so many qualities I displayed as a young girl. I searched for a few years. I went to a business workshop. I was a retailer at that time. I was also studying consciousness at the same time. I had to get up in front of the audience and say what we were committed to in the world. I stood up and said that I was committed to bringing self-esteem into the school system and teaching children how to love themselves, because I didn’t know how to do that myself. And in the middle of my talk when everyone was looking at me, this woman stands up and shouts out, ‘You’re a bitch!’ And I thought, ‘Well, I know that. How does she know?’ I was so embarrassed, and I had spent so many years trying to cover up that part of myself, trying to hide it from other people, trying to compensate, which is what we do with the shadow. We try to overcompensate, so I created this very nice persona and was a people pleaser. But when the pressure got on, that part of me would just come up and say things that I regretted later. This woman started asking me to tell her something that was good about being a bitch. She said, ‘Do you ever get damaged merchandise? And do you ever have to be a little forceful or a little bitchy to get them to take it back?’ And I could remember many times, when I told the manufacturer that I wasn’t going to pay them. In that moment I realized that this part of me that I hated and was so ashamed of came bearing gifts to me. I realized that either you’re going to use your shadow, or it’s going to use you. Standing there, I felt like my cells were changing. The shame lifted, and all the embarrassment lifted. I realized that we truly are a microcosm of the macrocosm, that we truly do have each of these qualities inside of us. And our job as spiritual beings or human beings is to evolve to this place where we can find compassion for all of who we are.

Every part, every aspect that we reject we put into the shadow. We disown it or disassociate from it, and they become part of our shadow aspect. Anything you were told when you were growing up, ‘Don’t be a liar. Don’t be selfish. Don’t be too proud. Don’t think you’re too special.’ Even positive things become part of our shadow.

What are the most common shadows?

People don’t want to embrace that they’re selfish, stupid, angry, unlovable, insensitive, stingy, greedy, undeserving, unworthy, not good enough. People want to be good. So they hide the little bad self in the closet, thinking that nobody will ever find out. Men don’t want to be vulnerable or a wimp. Women don’t want to be a bitch. People don’t want to think that they have a big ego.

What’s the most extreme or most interesting shadow that you have come across?

There was one girl who came. She grew up in a trailer park, very poor… She had an alcoholic father who killed her mother. He was in jail. On and on she was raped when she was young. She decided that she was going to become Miss Perfect and very smart. She got a scholarship and went to an Ivy League School, got a big corporate job. Then she ended up marrying someone who I believe also turned out to be an alcoholic and abusive. When she went back into her shadow… by the time she was six or seven, she deemed herself a piece of crap. She wasn’t worth anything and didn’t deserve love. But she had created this huge corporate lifestyle, this persona, spoke a couple of languages. Her parents were both ignorant or uneducated. Those kind of stories are always fascinating, because the persona that gets created is so perfected, that you would never guess what is hidden beneath the surface and their subconscious.

One of the shadow tricks is to think about the quality that you like most about yourself. Let’s say you have a sense of humour and you’re funny. Then you look for the negative opposite of that quality. The opposite might be “boring”. So you would find one of your shadows right there. I once had a man who had two Master’s and a couple of PhDs. His shadow was that he thought he was an idiot, but he spoke all these languages. We’re always overcompensating, that’s what’s so interesting. Workaholics don’t want to be lazy. People who are in positions of power, in the government sometimes, they thought they were powerless, and they thought that they had no control. So they worked to create these personas to show that they’re big, powerful and strong, when really inside they feel weak and powerless. Many politicians get caught by their own shadow. In the movie I describe it as the beach ball effect. You take these parts of yourself, like you would take a beach ball and try to hold it under water. And you take these parts and you try to suppress them with your conscious mind. And then all of a sudden, when you think you’re on top of the world and everything is going great, and you don’t have your attention on suppressing this part, it will pop up and hit you in the face.

So how does one integrate the shadow? You also teach workshops…

I also made an interactive part of the movie, so people can actually be led by one of our trained coaches to be taken through part of this process, which is called the Shadow Salon (held in Hong Kong). It is meant to help people start dealing with their own work. Then we have the Shadow Process, which this year we’ll do in Lebanon, South Africa, Kopenhagen and the US, and hopefully in Asia, where people can do the work with me. There are many people who want to do more personal training, because the Shadow Process guarantees you freedom. People leave feeling 20 years younger and freer than they’ve ever felt before. Then we also have a course called Breakthrough, which is the beginning of our Coaching Training Program. A coach can take you through a process over three or four months to help you deal with any area of your life where you want to have a tremendous breakthrough, big shifts and results, whether it’s healing your heart, healing something in a relationship, making more money, or changing careers, finding happiness or discovering your purpose, or starting a business.

How has this work changed your life?

This work had me find my true calling, my purpose, my mission, which is to support other people. I am just about to release my seventh book, and that I would ever would have written one book was beyond my wildest imagination, to do seven, and to do a movie… Every time I have an idea to do something, I can go into my internal world, and I can find the parts that I need. Maybe I need more confidence or courage. Maybe I need to be a better receiver of love and support. Then inside I can find the answers to exactly what I need. Often people’s greatness, beauty and success are buried in their shadow. They were never taught that it’s ok to be a fully self-expressed happy and healthy human being. It changes my life every day. Everyone can benefit from shadow work. There isn’t anybody who can’t go inside and find some piece of themselves that they have rejected that can actually serve them in the present moment.

You’re coming out with a new book called The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. How does this tie in with the shadow work?

The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse is that journey of really understanding that there is this resource and inner power inside, and if we want to be the full expression of ourselves in this lifetime, we must tap into this spiritual power that is our birthright. The first 7 days are based in the past. It’s a process to do work every day, to see what needs to be let go of, maybe people we need to forgive. The next 7 days are in the present. How do you feel about yourself right now? What’s working and what areas aren’t? The last 7 days are based in the future. People will create their vision and find their soul’s purpose and be who they desire to be, live the life they’ve been dreaming about.

Most of us are following our ego’s path instead of our soul’s path. It’s very hard because the ego is so clever, so very clever. A lot of people have been spending time spiritualizing their ego. That is someone who has read a lot of books and learnt some of the principles. But they don’t feel it. They’re just creating a better persona. But when you’re living your soul’s purpose, when you’re connected to this resource, anything can happen. You can be surprised each and every day. You can make choices based on the future and not based on what you know or you don’t know. You follow the guidance. Most people will have the urge, but then they stop themselves. The ego takes over.

What have been your challenges in connection with the shadow work?

Making the movie was one of the most joyous and amazing years of my life, but also one of the most difficult. I felt like I was in the ego management business, and I was in a field that I didn’t understand. And I’m working with directors and producers, and I’m very opinionated. But this is life. I grew in the process of really taking ownership of being able to trust that power inside and my intuitive wisdom. I trusted myself and took that step even when it was scary. Every time we take a giant leap, more than likely we will be scared. But if we’re connected to the source we take it anyway. I’m always challenged, but I see these challenges now as opportunities for my growth, and as ways to find which part of myself I need to embrace now.

What are your tips for our readers?

Notice what you dislike the most, and instead of running away from it. Take a deep breath and know that this is your shadow and be willing to find the gift, to see how this quality that is so annoying, disgusting or upsetting can be useful in some situation. If you can train yourself to look for the gold, it will change your life. What you resist, will persist. What you can’t be with, won’t let you be. You will never have true peace until you can be with the things that are upsetting to you, or disgusting. Your judgment should be the key to finding your most powerful self.

If someone has already done much work in this field, how can one still benefit from the shadow work?

You can never have embraced all of your shadow. The more successful you become in some area of your life, the more you open up, the more shadows will be uncovered. I use myself as an example. I’m a very successful person, and I still have a lot of shadows. And whenever there is a challenge, I can use shadow work to shift it very quickly. When you’ve done a lot of shadow work you no longer have to say affirmations. You become the affirmation! You no longer have to try to be something, because naturally you are who you aspire to be.

Very successful people come to the Shadow Process, because it’s so intriguing. You can find something about your mother or your father, and you can say, ‘Oh I’m not that.’ That’s always a key that there’s a shadow lurking around. You can search what is that quality that you say you are not, and then you can trace it back to see how you work hard to be the opposite of that.

Can you tell us a little bit about your philosophy and your vision?

The shadow work is just a path, a vision of mine, to help people understand that we are one, and that if we could own and embrace all the qualities of ourselves, then we will have love for our brothers and sisters who have different coloured skin and have different sizes and shapes. We have the capability to be our greatest dream and our greatest nightmare. When we understand that we have all the qualities of those people that we’re pointing our fingers at, then we’re truly at peace with the world

The Hong Kong Premiere of The Shadow Effect will take place on September 15 along with a workshop led by Vivian Wang at Cliftons, 33/F, 9 Queen’s Road Central. Seats need to be reserved in advance. Please email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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