Steer Clear of the Pitfalls and Attract the Partner You Want

Relationships can be one of the most difficult things one has to master in life, especially if you live in a transient fast-paced city where single life and anonymity rule the dating scene. When everyone is so entrenched in their job, getting to know someone can be quite the task, let alone finding someone on the same wavelength. Often people turn into social butterflies, living in a castle where they never have to make any commitments and choices. This can be quite challenging for someone who is looking for true love and a lasting relationship, only to find that all your partners want the opposite of a substantial foundation.

As you probably already know, the work starts and ends with us. We can’t change anyone apart from ourselves. Looking at relationships and dating from a spiritual point of view, we can say that our partner will always represent a mirror for us, revealing all our hidden issues that we might not want to see, but are clearly there for us to work through. Our partners become our greatest teachers.

Most of us have experienced trial and error numerous times, only to find out that we’ve been dating the same type of person, reliving the same pattern over and over again. Once we have acknowledged the vicious circle, we can then step out of it.

Apart from clearing deep-seated mother/father issues (which is the first and probably biggest step towards a happy and long-lasting relationship), we have to be clear about what kind of person we want to attract and follow that ideal without a wavering thought. We are not talking looks and body ideals, but integrity and ethics. As we raise our vibration and we realize that every person is a divine aspect, we treat everyone with respect and we stay true to ourselves. We no longer compromise our values to be with someone that we’re only using as a substitute, we no longer date someone who is only into short term relationships if we’re after something that will last, and we no longer tolerate someone who clearly doesn’t honour us for who we are. Every time we put up with something less, we give the universe a signal that it’s ok, when in fact it isn’t. So we should stick by our standards and let the universe supply us with what we have asked for. Ask and you shall receive. That is the power of manifestation.

Another helpful tool is to look at all our past relationships to see if one of them or more might be holding us back from stepping into a new one. Sometimes people wonder why their energy is so scattered and they can’t seem to commit to one person, leaving one partner after the other. Often they still have strings attached to previous lovers and partners, holding on to broken dreams, could haves and would haves. It is very crucial to release them, and a great way to do that is to start in the physical and get rid of old love letters, old gifts and sometimes even photos. Ask yourself why you are holding on to a certain object, as it is very vital to understand the memories and emotions that are attached to these material things and then let them go. Some people enjoy “release rituals” while others just use the power of their mind. Alone by understanding the cause behind certain things, knowing that it no longer serves you, and the intention to let it go, will move mountains. You might have done all the cord cutting, and you think you’ve dealt with all your past partners, but if you’re still experiencing unhappy relationships, then take another look. The clues are always there, but they might be subtle; a ring, an old postcard from your holiday, a CD with your favourite songs you've enjoyed together, a painting… Let it go to create new space, to create the life that you want.

Being open and truly present in the moment is key when it comes to dating. This is also part of getting out of our head and following our heart. When we are open to whatever is for our highest good, trusting that we are perfectly guided by our higher selves, we radiate self-love and happiness and attract someone who represents that too. We no longer come from a point of loneliness and desperation where we have to consult card readers and seers, who tell us that “the one” is around the corner. When we tap into our divinity everything falls into place, and we know who we should be with. We are able to connect with someone who is vibrating on a higher level, someone who is real and someone who might possibly be our life partner.

Ariel Li